Amen? I guess?

Well, Semana Santa (holy week) is done. I’ve participated in it as a good little Catholic girl I am and I have been contemplating what I learned in this year’s holy week.

I could tell stories on how visita iglesia (visiting seven or fourteen churches while doing the station of the cross) is different nowadays, or maybe could relive some holy week superstitions that we Filipinos do. But to be frank, I just want to give my two cents about religion.

Religion and faith have been an odd topic for me. I refuse to participate in religious activities, but let’s be honest, being in a Filipino family and living in the Philippines you are required to attend Sunday masses every week. Don’t get me wrong, I love the weekly tradition but only because we get to eat afterward.

I don’t pride myself to be an active member of our church. Nor do embody the likeness of Christ. However, for years I have had a complicated relationship with Him. I’ve tried to understand why and then I conclude it is because I didn’t choose to participate in this religion. I was mandated to do so. Growing up in a Catholic country where almost everyone is conservative, it’s hard for you to not praise the Lord. It’s like part of Filipino pride for some reason.

However, I have newfound peace with this religion. For the very first time, I get to decide whether I want to participate or not. This freedom that I have made me realize that there’s so much more to the Catholic Church. It’s fascinating and honestly moving to talk to genuine people who have unshaken faith in the Lord and just hear their stories. I’ve been a victim of being shamed by titas and titos — who are very religious — just by not participating in the church. And then I met these people where their faith is not fragile in which they do not care if many don’t agree with the Catholic Church.

Maybe this is what I’ve learned for Easter, being faithful is not all about following the word of the Lord or having complete attendance in Sunday masses. It’s about true acceptance and complete surrender of our doubts and worries no matter how scary they may be. And with that, I have acquired ease and comfort by lifting all my worries to Him. I may not be super religious compared to other Filipinos and that’s okay with me.